We bought the coolest/cruellest thing ever today.

It's an electrified tennis racquet thing for zapping flies. And I do mean zap. They explode!

I feel quite guilty about it. But I hate flies.

And it scares the shit out of Nolly.

I need some information please.

My sister has asked me to download a song. Only problem is, neither of us know the title, who sang it or many of the words.

Our headmaster at primary school used to play as we filed into assembly sometimes, and all I can remember is a load of kids singing:

"Pinocchio, la la la lala la la laaa, Pinocchiooo, la la la lala la la laaa!"

And that's all we can remember.

I've done a search on google, and I just get foreign sites cos "la" is "the" in many languages, and google ignores repetition. I also tried iTunes, and listened to many strange songs with "Pinocchio" in the title. It is amazing how much jazz that puppet has inspired.

So anyway, I need the title and artist, si vous plait.

Can anyone help?

So I deleted the other two blogs I had on here. I haven't had the time to do anything with them for ages and it was getting me down. Actually, I have had buckets of time - just no inclination! It's a shame, cos the wossat one was fun. I just don't need the niggling thoughts that I need to be updating blogs at the moment!

By the way, Lynds, you got that last wossat, it was a toilet roll! Well done, pretend I am giving you a tube of smarties. And an extra big tube of em to chrisglos who got most of em right. Well done you for obviously spending an inordinate amount of time in the gents, which is where most of the pics came from!

Dear Sub

Nolly won't sing for me. Just thought I'd let you know.

Love from me.

- Bold all of the following TV shows which you've ever seen 3 or more episodes of in your lifetime.
- Italicize a show if you're positive you've seen every episode of it.
- If you want, add up to 3 additional shows (keep the list in alphabetical order).

24
7th Heaven
Adam-12
Aeon Flux
ALF
Alfred Hitchcock Presents
Alias
American Gothic
American Idol/Pop Idol/Canadian Idol/Australian Idol/etc.
America's Next Top Model/Germany's Next Top Model
Angel
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Arrested Development
Babylon 5
Babylon 5: Crusade
Battlestar Galactica (the old one)
Battlestar Galactica (the new one)
Baywatch
Beavis & Butthead
Beverly Hills 90210
Blackadder
Bonanza
Bones
Bosom Buddies
Boston Public
Boy Meets World
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bug Juice
Chappelle's Show
Charlie's Angels
Charmed
Cheers
Clarissa Explains It All
Columbo
Commander in Chief
Coupling
Cowboy Bebop
Crossing Jordan
CSI
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Dallas
Dancing with the Stars
Danny Phantom
Dark Angel
Dark Skies
Davinci's Inquest
Dawson's Creek
Dead Like Me
Deadwood
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Designing Women
Desperate Housewives
Dharma & Greg
Diagnosis Murder
Different Strokes
Doctor Who
Dragnet
Due South
Dynasty
Earth 2
Emergency!
Entourage
ER
Even Stevens
Everwood
Everybody Loves Raymond
Facts of Life
Falcon Crest
Family Guy
Family Ties
Farscape
Father Ted
Fawlty Towers
Felicity
Firefly
Flash Forward
Frasier
Friends
Futurama
Get Smart
Gilligan's Island
Gilmore Girls
Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Green Wing
Grey's Anatomy
Growing Pains
Gunsmoke
Hannah Montana
Happy Days
Hogan's Heroes
Home Improvement
Homicide: Life on the Street
House
I Dream of Jeannie
I Love Lucy
Instant Star
Inuyasha
Invader Zim
Invasion
Hell's Kitchen
JAG
Jackass
Joey
John Doe
Knotts Landing
LA Law
Laverne and Shirley
Little House on the Prairie
Lizzie McGuire
Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Lost (so far, anyway!)
Lost in Space
Love, American Style
M*A*S*H
MacGyver
Malcolm in the Middle
Married... With Children
Melrose Place
Miami Vice
Mission: Impossible
Monk
Mork & Mindy
Most Haunted
Murder, She Wrote
Murphy Brown
My Life as a Dog
My Super Sweet 16
My Three Sons
My Two Dads
NCIS
Nip/Tuck
Numb3rs
One Tree Hill
Oz
Perry Mason
Phil of the Future
Pokemon
Power Rangers
Prison Break
Profiler
Project Runway
Quantum Leap
Queer As Folk (US)
Queer as Folk (British)
Red Dwarf
ReGenesis
Remington Steele
Rentaghost
Rescue Me
Road Rules
ROME
Roseanne
Roswell
Salute Your Shorts
Sapphire & Steel
Saved by the Bell
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?
Scrubs
Seinfeld
Sex and the City
Silk Stalkings
Six Feet Under
Sliders
Slings and Arrows
Smallville
Sons & Daughters
So Weird
South of Nowhere
South Park
Spaced
Spongebob Squarepants
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager
Star Trek: Enterprise
Stargate Atlantis
Stargate SG-1
Superman
Supernatural
Surface
Survivor
Taxi
Teen Titans
That 70's Show
That's So Raven
The 4400
The Addams Family
The Andy Griffith Show
The A-Team
The Avengers
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Brady Bunch
The Colbys
The Cosby Show
The Daily Show
The Dead Zone
The Dick Van Dyke Show
The Flintstones
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Golden Girls
The Honeymooners
The Jeffersons
The Jetsons
The L Word
The Love Boat
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
The Mighty Boosh
The Monkees
The Munsters
The Mythbusters
The Naked Truth
The O.C.
The Office (UK)
The Office (US)
The Pretender
The Real World
The Shield
The Simpsons
The Six Million Dollar Man
The Sopranos
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
The Twilight Zone
The Waltons
The West Wing
The Wonder Years
The X-Files
Third Watch
Three's Company
Top Gear
Treasure Hunt
Twin Peaks
Twitch City
Two and A Half Men
Undeclared
Veronica Mars
Whose Line is it Anyway? (US)
Whose Line is it Anyway? (UK)
Will and Grace
Wings
WKRP in Cincinnati
Young Americans

How do monkeys make toast?

Under the gorilla!