There ya go, that should keep you going for a bit!

I'm off to watch Hustle with Paddy. I know it's finished, but we Sky+ed it.

If I don't reply to comments, I'll do it tomorrow. Promise!

Keep watching...

Paddy thought this looked rude when he first saw it.

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Artery......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die.
Benign........................ .What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section...............A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan....................... Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema.......................... Not a friend.
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................... A small lie.
Impotent........................ Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain.....................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................... A higher offer.
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................... I knew it.
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative................. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room................. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
Tablet......................... A small table.
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour..........................One plus one more.
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.
2xCondoms.......................To be sure, to be sure

Is this cool or geeky?

It's an installation, don't you know. Art. Apparently.

What it is, is a computer with a printer and a shredder attached. It checks email, and any that are spam are printed and promptly shredded. And then the paper is recycled, as is proper.

You can click on the picture to go see a video of it in action.

So, is it cool, or is it geeky?

Paddy and I have laaaaahvly new phones.

Mine looks like this:

And Paddy's looks like this:

Beeeyooooootiful. But MMS don't work, for some reason. Makes mobile blogging problematic.

Radio chatter from an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m fucking bored!”

Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”

Unknown aircraft: “I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!”

(also stolen from www.ianfitter.com)

I have not posted for a wee while, and I have a collection of stuff I've been meaning to blog. Here I go!

First off, dogs and cats:

Excerpts from a Dog’s Daily Diary

8:00am Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30am A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40am walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00pm Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00pm Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00pm Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00pm Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favourite thing!

11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe……. for now….

(found at www.ianfitter.com)